Do you look for ways to be kind? Do you notice moments of kindness?
In our world that can be incredibly unkind in many ways, we may have to work a little harder to find it, and create it, within ourselves and for others. This hard work is worth it. When we are in the presence of kindness, everyone wins. It can also be contagious… in a good way!
Something important to consider is that kindness is not the same thing as niceness. We are so often taught to “be nice”, but this comes with many explicit and implicit expectations of keeping to the status quo, to the social norms, and of towing the line so as to not create a sense of discomfort. This often leads to many unhealthy situations, discounting our inner truth, and creating a lack of safety and connection.
When we are being kind, we are behaving in ways that are truly “for the good of the herd”, whether that herd is our family, team, community, etc. This includes ourselves; when we feel safe and connected, we have the ability to help others feel that way too. A moment of kindness can be as simple as taking a deep breath, and creating a pause for our nervous systems to regulate. Sometimes, the kindest thing we can do is to set a healthy boundary, speak our truth, or let someone go. Those things wouldn’t fall into the “be nice” category, and yet those forms of kindness do open the door to creating more safety and connection, especially when we can keep our hearts open through the process.
No matter what form it takes, kindness deserves our effort and our time. Our world needs it, and we all benefit.
As you read through the following reflections by trauma therapist Dr. Rebecca Bailey, extreme trauma survivor Jaycee Dugard, horse specialist Margie McDonald, and self-actualization coach Carmen Theobald, consider what “kindness” means to you.
Horse Sense North is the Canadian Partner to Polyvagal Equine Institute. Carmen regularly contributes to their “Word of the Week” blog posts. Her introductions to those blogs are now available here, through the Horse Sense North website. To read the full post, click here.
